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[ PROFILE ]

Name: shaXu

Location: shah alam | kota bharu, selangor | kelantan
| lazy | talkative | very loud | shy around new people | a good listener | appreciate friends more than anything |LOVES ilhan mansiz |RoB | nazRiL | to use phrases "Jealous la tuh.." or " sumpah?!" | pizza | JUST HATE due dates | latecomers | noises in the morning | cockroaches |

[ OTHER PLACES ]
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
- HACKERS -


aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut kehilanganmu
aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut rapuh tanpamu

berharap kau setia temani malamku
berharap kau cerahkan setiap pagiku
karena ku tak sanggup hidup tanpamu
dan bersamamu senandungkan kisahku

aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut kau khianatiku
aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut kau campakkan aku

aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut kau khianatiku
dan aku takut mencintaimu
karena ku takut kau campakkan aku

Lamanya tak dengar lagu Indon. This one, very catchy and I don't even know the band. How did I get to know this song, I have no idea. Tetibe je jumpa. Gitu..

Ariel, cepat la keluar jail. I miss your work..I mean, songs..not the other artwork.


Thursday, January 05, 2012
- 2012 -


On the last day of 2011, I've reached Penang, tasted the famous Naan cheese tandoori chicken Kapitan, nasi kandaq beratoq, pasemboq, laksa etc.

Almost divert to Perlis on our way back, but Copot just didn't want to switch driver (tho I know he was sleepy as hell). Kalu tak, sure dah "CHECKED!", visited all states in Malaysia.

Thanks to Nana, Copot and Afnan for making my 'dream' come true. Penang, I shall return. Hehe.

Another great year passed by and it has been quite a journey for 2011.

Faced a few ups and downs in friendships: chance to meet new people, new friends, and also not so nice arguments along the way. I guess that's just some lessons to learn about life. Still no special relationship for me this year (bummer!). Traveled to a few places with my close friends. Work has been crazy. Additional member to the family: Nur Hannah binti Khairil. Additional member to the extended family: Qasih binti Qaf. Above all the stuff been happening, glad that I shared the wonderful moments with my great friends.

New year resolutions? No specific ones..err, yeah right! Haha!

My focus is it's gonna be the year for me to start something new, something fresh, to be better person & Muslimah in life, find a better job, have that go-for-it-attitude.
And hope new exciting things to share with the people I love..


Wednesday, December 21, 2011
- THE COLOR OF YOU -

Kuza has been an idol to me and I told her that.

With all the bad news thrown at her, she would dust it off and stand up tall to face the day. If I were in her place, I'd be admitted for depression.

Sunshine Yellow.

That's her personality colour.

No matter how bad the situation is, she would be very positive about it. So I took the same test and we were surprised with the end results.

I. Am. Cool Blue.

Emotion (Strengths) :
  • Deep and thoughtful <--Nana pasti angkat kening
  • Analytical
  • Talented and creative
  • Self-sacrificing
  • Sensitive to others
Emotion (Weaknesses):
  • Remembers the negatives <--so true.
  • Low self-image <--so true.
  • Has selective hearing <--that's why I'm thoughtful; need to analyze what I'm listening to.
  • Guilt feeling <--always.
  • Too introspective
Work-wise (Strengths):
  • Schedule-oriented <--mmkay..fine, true
  • Neat and tidy
  • Finds creative solutions
  • Needs to finish what he starts
Work-wise (Weaknesses):
  • Hard to please
  • Deep need of approval
  • Spends too much time planning
  • Chooses difficult work
Friends (Strengths):
  • Makes friends cautiously
  • Faithful an devoted
  • Deep concern for others
  • Moved to tears with compassion
  • Seeks ideal mate
Friends (Weaknesses):
  • Insecure socially
  • Holds back affection
  • Unforgiving
  • Skeptical of compliments
  • Full of contradictions
My second color is Yellow. So, I can be flexible in certain things but my Blue is more dominant. Yeah, I can't drop everything and just go with an adhoc weekend or something.
]
I need a plan. That's my blanket.




- INDEPENDENT-

Of all days, yesterday, my car decided to give me some attitude. After Damansara toll, the car window on my side just stopped halfway. Maybe the motor was going crazy? I was pissed.

So I was at the office parking lot, trying to get it up. It was, but in such a super slow mode, I could die. I had to text my boss, informing him that I was around the office with the car problem, just to avoid him accusing me being late. He texted back to wait there as he had asked one of the drivers to assist me.

By the time the driver arrived, the window was up. I thank the driver though but deep down, I'm sure the driver saw me some sort of a helpless girl..

Before the briefing started..

Moi: I told you I'd be fine. Takyah hantar Asri pon.
Boss: Kena la hantar..nanti you stuck kat sana.
Moi: Buat malu je, coz by the time Asri sampai, the window dah ok dah. Sure Asri ingat I gedik2 tak reti. I can handle it la..

Boss: You know what, you should learn to rely on people once in a while. Give people a chance to help you.
Moi: (-__-'). Fine, thanks. Next time, takyah.

Should I be helpless sometimes? It's a weird new thing for me to do it. Not saying that I'm such a hard-a**, independent woman yadda yadda but it's just not me kot? I can be one but just to my brothers.

Haha!


Wednesday, December 14, 2011
- AND THE HEART SINKS -


For December babies: Tampin and Fazu, we decided to spend our weekend in Gopeng. When I say Gopeng, not the town but somewhere in the jungle where we stayed at Adeline's homestay. Inamadz (the other December baby) can't make it due to..I'm not sure.

We did Kandu caving, nightwalk and also white-water rafting at Sungai Kampar. Water-rafting..the excitement and adrenaline rush; totally different from what I imagined. It was awesome. It was beyond awesome when Firah was the entertainment on the raft.


It was one short but awesome trip.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUZA, FAZU AND INAMADZ!

I've been eyeing on this one particular job for over a month. I've studied, implemented and actually did a proposal just to nail this job. When it was verbally ok-ed; I was so excited, no words could actually describe it. It was like, MY dream job.

My dream Company has always been Sime Darby. I've worked my a** off to be in this Company. I mean, I know my SPM results weren't that great and I didn't go to a well-known university. But I know I can do it so I did what I do best, people skills (ye ke?!) Hahah! It was like a light from the sky, like God was saying "nah anakku.."

But after 4 years, I realized. This may be my dream Company to be in but this is not my dream job. I can't imagine myself doing this for the next 10 years; the unnecessary mental stress, lack of recognition from the Management, blaming game, clerical work etc. I can't do this.

I had to find some place new and this particular job, it was something I didn't know I'm good at. 70% was good to go, I was just waiting for the official interview and letter.

One morning, it came crushing down when I got a text saying that they received another 2 resumes with strong experience etc.

My heart was crushed. I felt numb. I felt tears in my eyes but I couldn't cry. I felt trapped, trapped in this shithole. I felt tricked, tricked into believing that I am getting that job.

They might be calling me for an official interview with the other "2 awesome resumes" somewhere in January but I. Just. Don't. Want. To. Hope. Anymore.

I don't know.


Wednesday, November 30, 2011
- TURNING PAGE -

I've waited a hundred years
But I'd wait a million more for you
Nothing prepared me for
What the privilege of being yours would do

If I had only felt the warmth within your touch
If I had only seen how you smile when you blush
Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough
I would have known what I was living for all along
What I’ve been living for

Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase

I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
Well, I would have known what I've been living for all along
What I've been living for

Though we're tethered to the story we must tell
When I saw you, well, I knew we'd tell it well
With a whisper, we will tame the vicious seas
Like a feather bringing kingdoms to their knees..

A very..erm, touching song?
Jiwang much?

Oh crap.


Friday, November 04, 2011
- BACK TRACK -


It has been a while since my last entry (the one before my birthday entry). Anyhoo, as usual, need to do some sort of summary. Is it my time management or I am simply bad at this?

So, let's go!


:: September Baby ::

It has no longer our tradition for the birthday girl to buy their own birthday cake. Now, we just ask the birthday girl what do they want for their birthday and try to get it.

So, September. It was Ariel's birthday (Happy birthday, JailBoy!) and of course, Atie's 28th birthday. She came over to my office for lunch since she had
a meeting nearby. Lunch date with me and later she had a dinner date with Firah baby. The week after just asked her "kau nak apa birthday?" and she chose:



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ATIE! From us with lots of love.


On the same day, I got my "advanced" birthday gift from the chicas. Ripcurl's rashguard for me to bring to the island. Love it so much. Thanks babes!

:: Rolling with the Heat ::

I was down with 39.9c fever last month. It was crazy. Got mc for 2 days and I was bed resting for the whole 2 days; consuming just water and antibiotics. During that "hibernate" period, I did text my brother on my condition. You know, just to update him. Kang mati sorang2, xde orang tahu. T___T

On the 4th day, I felt better and back to work, but a bad cough.

Next thing I know, I was on nebulizer.

I never gone through asthma-attack or what. Like the doctor explained, there's a pinch of that asthma gene in me, and with the weather and the newly painted apartment, it somehow triggered it.

Again, I need to text my brother now and then on my condition. I need to be ok before Perhentian or I can't dive!

:: When the Island Calls ::

Nadiah, Kuza and I went to Perhentian to wrap up 2011. The next day Nanayau, Ina and Sarina joined the trip. It was a simple trip with a few dives and just do nothing.

We stayed at Maya, facing the sea with the breeze against our faces. It was relaxing. Home away from home..gitu..



Also, it was legendary when Nadiah and Nanayau finally jumped off the lighthouse..from the first level tho (-__________-')

We will be back.

:: The Extra Hand, Extra Burden ::

So the new HR Executive finally joined the Company.

On the first day she came, she was..very..cheerful. It was so early in the morning, I haven't had my coffee yet and she was there to ask me all sorts of questions. I looked at her and actually said, please..chill..

The moment the NewGirl was in, my boss had her do lots of things, attend a lot meetings with him, introducing the new "right-hand person" to everyone. I was left behind, like a broken doll. No one want to play with me. Hahah!

Not that I mind, I was embracing the new changes. I was just handling SDCC and it was simpler. Everyone in SDCC was cooperative. And NewGirl, well, I tried to feel sorry for I can't. She got to learn to do things on her own, just like I did when I came in.

After 14 days in service, she left the Company. She literally left for lunch and didn't come back. My boss was dumb folded. This was his "chosen" one. He had been telling us how good this NewGirl was, handling 5,000 staff, recruitment, IR, training and whatnot. I can't help it but smirked.

It proved how stupid my bos was. NewGirl has only 2 years working experience and for her to handle 5,000 staff, doing all HR portions..wouldn't it be a little bit funny?

The worst part, all the things during her 14 days with the Company, left on her table..nothing was done. I was mad as hell coz I know I'd be the one cleaning up the shits. True enough.

Now, I am doing things at my own pace. I don't bother to speed up even a notch. I had enough with this cleaning up thing. I cleaned up KLGCC before I handover to NewGirl. I went to SDCC and clean up the mess left by Division and now I've been pulled back to KLGCC and need to clean up this mess?! It's a never ending story.

Everyone been thinking that I must've gotten a pocket full of additional salary or whatever shit. Well, please get to know my boss. The stingiest human-being when it comes to some appreciation for his own staff. So I'm done. I don't do things for free. The stress and the workload, not worth it.

:: OBC-8-Weeks-Challenge ::

I signed up with the 8WC. First week was alright. It was strict; no vege, no sugar, no salt, just protein. Chicken breast 3 meals a day, for 3 days, nak muntah bang!

The moment I stepped on Perhentian Island, seeing K.Ti, I declared myself off the wagon. I was no longer going for OBC for the whole month of October and it became 8-Weeks-How-Many-Calories-You-Can-Take-Challenge. T_____T

I will start with this challenge again, insyaAllah. For this round, it's just bad-timing. Hahaha!

:: Back in Grey ::

I missed this so bad but to get the momentum back after Hari Raya, it was hard. That was why I didn't come for October. I was so mentally tired with work, I would sleep like no one's business. I would eat like a pig and..yeah, bad combo.

I could feel my bra was getting tighter (yeah, my measurement device?!), my usually-loose-workpants were getting just nice, no longer loose, short of breath after a flight of stairs..I knew I had to go back, for real!

November, I am back for some bootcamp.

First day, during the roll-out where Sarge will call out your name (for attendance) and tell you which rank you're in, he said "Shazu! Same rank..if you still remember.." (-_-')

Back in the mud, running in the rain, being screamed at while doing your 50th pushups, pushed to run across the muddy field even when your legs couldn't do it anymore..the adrenaline rush. Surprisingly, it felt good.

And I think Sarge will be torturing me this time when he said, "Welcome back, off-shaped Britney.." Die la! Die la!


Monday, October 17, 2011
- TWO- EIGHT -

"The best thing in my life is when I eat good food..
share good things..
and grow with good friends.."

Welcoming 28th birthday with a simple yet intimate get together, with close friends. Felt so blessed and loved with the wishes and prayers via sms, Whatsapp, Facebook, phonecalls etc.

Thank you so much.

Love. Love. Love.

28 and that's HOT!